
ROSH CHODESH ELUL: "I AM MY BELOVED'S AND MY BELOVED IS MINE"
"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine." We all recognize these beautiful word from the Song of Songs. But what do they have to do with the month of Elul? "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine" is, in Hebrew, "Ani ledodi vedodi li - אני לדודי ודודי לי." The first letters of these four Hebrew words spell out Elul - אלול. Israel's relationship with G-d is described in many ways. Sometimes Israel is described as servants to G-d, the Master. In this week's Torah reading, we are told that "You are children of HaShem, your G-d." (Deut. 14:1), making G-d our Father. Certainly this is a more intimate relationship than servant to master. But no description of our relationship to HaShem is more intimate than that of lovers. And it's that relationship which is expressed in the month of Elul, the month that precedes and leads up to the month of Tishrei, the month of Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur, of standing before HaShem and giving account of who we have been this past year, of what we have achieved and what we haven't achieved, our aspirations and our disappointments.
"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine." We belong to HaShem, our souls are bound to His Oneness. If we have drifted away over the past year, Elul is our golden opportunity to return. And when we are with HaShem, He, our beloved is with us. We are His and He is ours. The Song of Songs is a parable of Israel's relationship with HaShem. It describes our most intimate moments with G-d, as at Mount Sinai, as well as our estrangements from G-d, as in the incident of the golden calf. It describes our longing to return to G-d's presence, and our sense of loss and fear when we feel ourselves distant from HaShem. Like the lover in the Song of Songs, we search for HaShem, we are love sick. But how did we grow so distant from HaShem?
"Where are you?" G-d called to Adam in the Garden of Eden. (Genesis 3:9) Adam had disobeyed G-d's will and eaten from the Tree of Knowledge, and now, in his shame, he was hiding. We distance ourselves from HaShem with our misdeeds, our transgressions and our self-deluding justifications for our own bad behavior.
We are always at liberty to break free from our own self-imposed distancing from HaShem, any moment and every moment. But the month of Elul presents us, once a year, with what our sages call an "et ratzon," a time of heavenly mercy, a time when G-d is especially approachable. He is on the lookout for us, desiring our return just as much as we are desiring to return. "Where are you?" G-d calls out to us, and the answer He longs for is, "we are here!" When we proclaim our presence before HaShem, He rediscovers us.
But who are we? Elul grants us the opportunity to reflect on who we have been over the past twelve months, and who we want to be going forward. Elul grants us the opportunity to reflect and correct and focus on who we are truly meant to be and how to get there. Some have called Elul the workshop of the soul. It is a time for self-repair, for fixing what has broken down, for fine tuning and recalibrating our spirits and our souls, our purpose and our actions. So when we stand before HaShem on Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur, and are asked to account for ourselves, we will be able to do so openly and honestly, for that is the only way to move forward, to becoming whom we are intended by G-d, our Creator, our Master, our Father and our Lover, to be.
"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine." When we proclaim our attachment to HaShem, He becomes ours! There is enough G-d for all of us to lay claim to His personal providence. We simply need to be here, in G-d's presence, and be who we truly are, to be recognized by G-d as His child, and His loved one. Elul is a once a year opportunity that it behooves us all to take full advantage of. The work that we accomplish during the twenty-nine days of Elul will accompany us throughout the entire upcoming year.
The Temple Institute wishes everyone a splendid month of Elul. HaShem "is standing behind our wall, looking from the windows, peering from the lattices." (Song of Songs 2:9) He is seeking us out. It is up to us to stand before Him in the light of day, simply by being the very best versions of ourselves. Chodesh tov - have a good and productive month!